A Tribute to "23 years of ignorance"

Vikram Seth

No miracles will ever clean,
the memory bestile and obscene
of those who having fouled their trust,
grew wraped with dread and power lust,
and ordered fire on the square,
on unarmed people everywhere,
brave people seeking to be free,
of rottenness, of tyrany.

Ctrl + Alt + DELETE

Erasing seems to be so much easier than writing.

But this is not the case, I just realised that i have created so many accounts (and i just dont mean on internet) that it has been hard for me to keep track of them. Like accounts even relationships come with an expiry dates. If you dont check your mails once in 3 months the account will be closed. Some times its too taxing to check mails one needs to go through all the unwanted spam to actually get to the main part. I mean i need to read 10 mails just to find out that not even one of them was worth it. So whats the whole point in signing up for a mail account. Long one are the days when you had just one mailing account and one used to take pains to write letter. The letter once received not just had message but also the smell and the essence of the writer. Kids things were so much better back then. However this was expensive and physical you need to buy a envelope and a stamp to send it across. E MAILS have become so inexpensive and impersonal that it saves one money as well as time. You No longer need to go on an actual date, just long on to your g talk and start talking something like a virtual date. You can share alot more than you do on a physical date but i know VIRTUAL DATING does have its own complications like the tone or the body language. Enough of this technosavy talk lets see some ground realities. Internet suck and its true. Hence today i decided to close down 3 out of 5 mailing accounts
~<<<<<<~waiting~>>>>>>>~
~<<<<<<~deleting~>>>>>>>~

stop using yahoo, msn or google messenger
~<<<<<<<~Closed~>>>>>>~
~<<<<<<<~uninstalled~>>>>>>~

and last but not the least close donw my orkut account.

AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
~<<<<<<~thinking~>>>>>>~
................
~<<<<<<~thinking~>>>>>>~
................
more of thinking
~~~~opening orkut
ohh i got a scrap aweeeeeeeee no i cannot turn back its too late for me
~~~~~~ settings -> delete your orkut account ~~~~~~~~
just need to press this button
gosh i m sweating cannot press the button ... my finger are getting numb.
.
.
.
.
.
.
ok fine i cannot delete it now
but will one day
ONE FINE DAY
I promise you my fellow bloggers
one day i will stand up for my self
one day i will fight for the underprivileged
one day i will not show my back
one day i will conquer my fear of getting lost
one day i will become anonymous
one day i will break free from all these obligations of mailing
one day i will be free from this web of Internet
one day i will press Ctrl+Alt+Del
until then
adios till we meet again

Persistance of Memory

The worst kind of force that you think exists in this world can there be a time when even that seems to be insubstancial.
Time can heal even snake bites. But can time be deceived so that even it needs to recover.

let me in

I am standing outside your door, knocking

Won't you let me in

I promise I won't stay for long

Lets just have a cup of coffee

Its been ages since I heard your voice

Please open the door and let me in

I wont stay for long I have a mile to go



See I bought with me our old memories

The same old song is on my lips

I know you have a family now,

So do I

But can we still go to the lake and throw stones in water

Please open the door and let me in

I wont stay for long I have a mile to go



I got you sweets just like old times

Same old chocolates and candies

I called you so many times you didn't pick my call

I know you are busy

Just let me see your face once

Please open the door and let me in

I wont stay for long I have a mile to go



I guess you are not at home

I don't have much time left

I have to pay back my debts before sunset

So I m keeping this rose on your doorstep

To bid my final farewell

I wish I could hear your voice for the last time

To see you shinning face

So adios dear friend

till we meet again

dido - "life for rent"

I haven't ever really found a place that I call home
I never stick around quite long enough to make it
I apologize that once again I'm not in love
But it's not as if I mind
that your heart ain't exactly breaking

It's just a thought, only a thought

But if my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine

I've always thought
that I would love to live by the sea
To travel the world alone
and live more simply
I have no idea what's happened to that dream
Cos there's really nothing left here to stop me

It's just a thought, only a thought

But if my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine

If my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine

While my heart is a shield and I won't let it down
While I am so afraid to fail so I won't even try
Well how can I say I'm alive

If my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine

If my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine
Cos nothing I have is truly mine
Cos nothing I have is truly mine
Cos nothing I have is truly mine

power , killing, politics, refugees

Remember the days of gladiators, maximus, Colosseum shear barbarism. People killing for amusement for FUN. Colosseum used to be among the seven wonder of world.
Wonder ... a place where almost 500 people were killed brutally and we the society enjoyed rejoice encouraged them to be more ruthless more mercy less. This place doesn't deserve to be called as a marvel as a symbol are architectural excellence. It has seen too much of blood absorbed too many screams and hosted too many homosapiens. However this blog is not about deciding the fate of Colosseum its about 21st century today. When industrial revolution began we started wearing pretty dresses that made us civilized and left barbarism locked in the closets. so let me throw some light on our civilized outfits
1820- black war (Australia)complete obliteration of the Tasmanian Aboriginal population
1941-45 Genocide against Serbs in Croatia and Bosnia
WW2 - HOLOCAUST
1968-96 Guatemalan civil war, some 200,000 people died
1971 BANGLADESH WAR 2 LAKH DEMOCIDE
afghanistan
Iran
what next only time .... ....
What was accomplished by erasing or an attempt to erase an entire race from the face of earth?
No this blog is neither about this. Since this happened in a far far away land which we dont care. This blog is about ur neighborhood happenings. Killing when is it justified and when a crime.
Killing for self defence
Killing for freedom

Killing via encounter

Killing to make your voice heard
Killing for justice
Killing to spread fear
Killing to proove ur power
Or killing just for the heck of it
First can be justified what about second is it justified. Not long ago even i beleived that its getter to kill a terrorist or a criminal instead of capturing them since in the latter case u have incidences like taking people into hostage etc.If we say capital punishment are banned why not encounters. I mean sometimes it is necessary like for self defence.
Why dont we get a simple face killing can never get you what you want it might spread fear. But not for long.Simple it is just not good just not done.........

how many times must the cannon balls fly
Before they're forever banned?

how many deaths will it take till he knows
That too many people have died?

MURDER MYSTERY

Are we living in paradise or hell ?

"We all live in paradise. However if we stay here for long we get bored." Paulo Cohelo Paradise and Hell are all perspective of mind. One might describe a places as paradise and the other can describe it to be hell. If we feel we might have been better off some place else then we are bound to fell hell about the surrent place. Sometiems its about the people if you can relate to them or maybe the place doesnt fell right. Simply i dont fit it.
However if you accept the fact that this is your only option then accepting might be easy. Mind plays various tricks on us. If only we could anticipate it.
Like love cannot be forced it just happens
Like rain cannot be made it just pours
Like flowers cannot be bloomed they just do
Similarly Paradise cannot be existing it is created
First in the mind and then elsewhere

Its no less than art or any theory of management or behavior or motivation. But living in paradise can become boring if i have to choose between both i would any day choose hell. Simple reason destruction.
Destruction of my void
Destruction of my ego
Destruction of my fate
Destruction of love
Destruction of desires
Destruction of expectaions
finally
Destruction of I
So accept the fact what is there the kick is how can i make it a hell for my dwelling ..

omar khayyam

A book, a woman, and a flask of wine:
The three make heaven for me; it may be thine
Is some sour place of singing cold and bare
But then, I never said thy heaven was mine.




There was the Door to which I found no Key;
There was the Veil through which I might not see:
Some little talk awhile of Me and Thee
There was — and then no more of Thee and Me.

I am not a economist
I am not a historian
I am not a philosopher
I am just a dreamer.

wind beneath my wings

What am I doing here?
I tried so much to get out of this place.
Now am back
Back from where I began my journey
Sometimes I wonder am I going in circles. Every time I cross the road the trees are different the seasons are different. Each time I open my eyes the view is different he is different. Although the dreams the aspirations are the same, the voice in side of me chants the same line.
“I believe I can fly”
Now the breeze is chilling, winter is approaching in need to head south if I have to survive. South seems enchanting hence I began my journey southwards. When I reached there it was dark. So I sat on a bridge over the mystic river and waited for the sun to rise. I waited and waited, many hours must have passed still the darkness ruled. Something seemed strange the sky was empty no stars or moon to ornate it, hence I assume it to be a moonless night. So I rested on the banks of the river with a hope in my heart that when I wake the view would mesmerize me. I might have slept for days or weeks, I was tired because of the long journey. To my astonishment when I woke up it was dark again no light to guide my way. I could only listen to the sound of water in the river. I was thirsty and hungry so I went near the river to drink some water. I started walking towards the river from the sound I figured that the river must have been 2-3 feet ahead of me. I walked for almost an hour but still there were no traces of water, as if it was running away from me. Since I hadn’t eaten in days I was week and started panting. I saw a stone nearby and rested over it still waiting for the sun to rise. My heart beat slowed down and eyelids started to feel heavy like been tied down with stones. I closed my eyes with a hope in my heart that when I wake the view would mesmerize me. Even though my eyes were closed I could feel the cold breeze beneath my wings with a hope that the sun will rise

The Others

The Others

How many faces do I have?
You should take risks. Only when you let the unexpected to happen you will understand the miracle of life.
There is a voice inside you which prevents you from taking risks.
It stops you from falling in love just because it hurts when it is over.
Fear of being hurt
Its stops you from touching hot plate with bare hands.
Fear of being burnt
I recently discovered the presence of others within me. This person somehow seemed strange to me. Paradoxically it has been there walking behind me even in my kinder garden. Back then it disallowed me to go into the dark.
Fear of getting lost
How many times have I stopped myself from doing something just because the others didn’t approve of it? Countless…..
Fear can be a tricky thing it can make a king act like a hobo. I have not seen much of this world however I know fear can make people do weird things.
Fear is BAD like whiskey or rum.
Above all it is the biggest hurdle towards the road to liberation. You cannot be free with fear inside you. The others will haunt you will drive you nuts will inject panic and terror into you blood.
Can you be free with fear of rejection?
Can you be free with fear of being burnt?
Can you be free with fear of dark?
Can you be free with fear of falling?
Can you be free with fear of getting lost?
I guess not.
Taking the drivers seat can be monotonous. Need to let loose.
I am fighting this battle to choke these voices to calm down the others so that I can be liberated.
I want to walk in the sun without the fear of getting tanned.
I want to swim in the deepest oceans without the fear of drowning.
I want to travel places without the fear of getting lost.
I want to drink pitchers of bear without the fear of getting drunk.
I want to love without the fear of getting hurt.
I want to live my life without the fear of death.

"h-om-e sweet h-om-e"

What kind of a place i want to dwell permanently?
This question has been sucking my grey matter for quite a while now. I have yet not decided as into which city i want to stay in or what kind of a person i would like to be buried with. As for city a big NO NO to mumbai also Delhi out of question there is a lack of breathing space and i want time for myself every day. Secondly that city needs to have a water reservoir where i could go for morning walks.
Somehow i can never think of staying in a flat or row houses it could be because i never stayed in a place like this before. A huge garden with all varieties of Lilly hibiscus ... croutons etc. Yes Yes gardening has been my passion a while before and am keen on continuing it. When i was 11 years old we had this huge guava tree just in front of the portico we used to play "chupan chupai, pakdam pakdai" around it also it was a patient listener to all of my rebellious comments on my mom. In summers we used get on the tree mark my words it had the best guavas in the city some time they were pink from inside and all the kids used to fight for a single bite. Anyways let me come back to my point a huge garden a place where i could teach my kids to walk to run and to ride a bike. A place where they can have a chance to explore nature ... as for me it was after eating mud that i realised it is not edible secondly earthworms are not the only source of protein. This is also the reason why i do not want to stay in huge cities you cannot get a huge place like this. Also a small water fountain at the corner of the garden not those water hose types the one made up of stones and looks like a mini waterfall where i could keep fishes and turtles or may be i wont .... but fountain is a must. On the other end of garden a small kennel for my dog. Dog is something i am real particular about as for me its a must in every house hold and not a poodle or a coccus spaniel but huge dogs like those Shepard's dogs like Alsatian or retrievers. There are various myths aboult pets that they keep the house clean they are not hygenic and kids should be kept away from them bla bla bla ... trust me none of them is true.
Have you been to a village ever ... if not you atleast might have seen one on television. So i guess you must be aware of mud houses. So let the walls be made up of bricks but i want to paint my home with my own hands and that too with mud (Keeps the house cool). There should not be many rooms just 5 rooms namely
DEN (master bedroom)
2nd bedroom (parents)
Kids room (nursery)
Guest room
Study
Ofcouse a sittng and dining room. Study is rare in most of the house that i have seen however i need to pay my tribuite to all the writer who have helped me to grow. Wodden cupbords, mahogany it has such a rustic smell... shelves over shelves with essence of all the legends like jin corbet, rk narayan, GD shaw... and many many more ...... In the centre of the hall there has to be a swing the ones with bronze chains ....

I dreamt of a beach side althought it might not be a practical idea.

Friends Forever

Such an iconoclastic statement.
A friend in need is a friend indeed like many other even this relationship is not selfless. One cannot always be on the receiving end like wise one cannot always be on to the giving end. We all need each other this is the only root reason why I talk to you and vice versa. I don’t say it each time we talk but that doesn’t imply that I don’t mean it.
Can two people actually be just friends forever?
I have been pondering for the answer to this question for quite a while. In the past 1 year I have made some gem of friends and some foes too I have to admit this. However this is not what I want to discuss. Yesterday I was conversing with one of my "GEM FRIENDS" and he commented that I do not use to much amount of superlatives while expressing my feelings. Simply I don’t choose to.
Let me paint a picture for you. Imagine yourself 10 years older from now couple of wrinkles under your eyes and mouth. Married to someone your parents choose for you since after repetitive failure in love you decided to have an arranged marriage. You have two kids one a boy and the other girl. You become a "gharelu" person. You attend your child’s skit, science exhibition, annual event; sports meet etc. since you want to be a good parent unlike yours. You want to give your child all the happiness you were deprived off when you were young. You are among the top shots in your organization. This implies more work more responsibilities and more worries. You are struggling to find time for your family but this is a promise that you made to your self and hence you prioritize things and somewhat become proud of yourself. However you keep on ignoring your spouse since you strongly believe that person never understood you. Hence more worries.
So tell me then would you be able to spend some time for your friends.
Would you be able to pay that person same amount of affection as now?
Would you be able to talk to him/her for 2-3 hours at night with out your spouse questioning your loyalty?
Would you be able to share a drink with them once every week?
Would you come to there rescue when every thing in there life is falling apart?
(You will be more engrossed in collecting you own bits)
So my dear hypocrites there can nothing be in this world life "Friends forever". One day they or you will move on and get stuck tangled up in this cobweb called LIFE.
Hence think twice before making a friend forever ………………….

A conversation to remember

Person 1 hiiiiiii
Person 2 hey
Person 1 hi
Person 2 did u got a sim card
Person 1 no\
Person 1 hey...kal raat kuch likha
Person 1 maine
Person 1 see in Abivyakti
Person 2 ok have u published it
Person 2 ok on emin
Person 1 hmm
Person 2 reading
Person 1 Being in LOVE
Person 2 yes
Person 2 2 min de
Person 1 hmm
Person 2 hmm what do u want me to comment abt it
Person 1 i dont expect anything
Person 2 ok
Person 1 kyu kya hua ?
Person 1 i know thoda stupid hai
Person 2 ek min
Person 2 well
Person 2 not stupid but i could not feel it in heart
Person 2 unlike ur other posts
Person 2 hey u there
Person 2 did i said something that i should not have
Person 1 u thr ?
Person 2 yes
Person 1 yaar,....i went for some work and then for luncgh
Person 1 hmm
Person 2 ok
Person 1 waise i know that post is very rational
Person 2 hmm
Person 2 i mean its a matter of perspective
Person 2 mine is only mine
Person 1 i know
Person 1 is baar kuch zyaada hi-fi and artificial hai
Person 1 u know...
Person 2 wht
Person 1 yeh blog maine sirf dimaag use karke likha
Person 2 well then i m sorry but i have to quote
Person 2 "tumhara dimag kharab ho chuka hai"
Person 1 i know
Person 2 wasie did u ever realise that there is so much in this world than "LOVE"
Person 1 LOVE is the world
Person 1 dont u think ...
Person 2 no
Person 1 whatever we do is out of LOVE for something
Person 2 well i never agree to his now did i ever beleiv in this
Person 1 hmmm
Person 2 nor*
Person 1 hmmm,,,
Person 2 well there is nothing in this world like selfless ness
Person 1 i know
Person 2 most of the things that u do are for love for yourself
Person 1 being selfish means to love yourself than anything
Person 1 :)
Person 2 which i would term as "selflove"
Person 1 thats LOVE...in any for,
Person 1 form*
Person 2 thats not love how can something as pure as LOVE be even remotely related to it
Person 1 yaar..........for me.....there is nothing in this world like HATE
Person 2 nor for me
Person 2 but there is more to life than just love and hate
Person 1 hmmm
Person 1 like ?
Person 2 breathing , liberation, freedom, copanionship, success, of course fame and money
Person 1 breathing is love for ur life...
Person 1 liberation is love for people
Person 1 freedom is love for your selves
Person 2 well breathing is a need for survival of body
Person 1 success is again out of love for urself and ur parents
Person 2 liberation is a need for survial of soul
Person 1 fame and money everything is love for yourlseves
Person 2 freedom is need to free from all these worldly compulsions
Person 1 because u want to live >?
Person 1 hey.....needs arise to make ur life
Person 2 sucess is the need for ur ego to suffice
Person 2 its the basic needs that we want
Person 2 love is just a luxury
Person 1 love yaar....dont take it as a boy in ur life
Person 2 some of us have this luxury some of us dont and some cannot afford it
Person 1 reach beyond that
Person 2 no i am not
Person 2 love is something which for me is more oure than nething in this world
Person 2 it is some thing selfless
Person 2 however it is something which i beleive cannot exists on this earthy freely
Person 1 love never has boundations yaar
Person 2 thats why it cannot exists freely on this planet
Person 1 i klnow
Person 2 and for the same reason i dont think it is practically possible
Person 1 hey....tune iska log babnayaa
Person 1 then why dont u put it in ur blog
Person 2 nope
Person 2 will put this chat on the blog
Person 2 :)

Theory of trust

"Trusting" is something we all do. Its something that is a human instinct. We tend to trust people unconsciously we trust the milkman to get milk (unadultrated) every day. We trust our dhobi to take care of our clothes. Throughout the day there are so many people we trust ranging from a stranger to your best friend. Breaking of trust is always painful no matter by whom the amount of pain is directly proportional to the intensity of the relationship you share with that person.
Pain = K * IOR
Where K = Trust coefficient
IOR = Intensity of relationship unit CY (closeness years)
So the closer the person is to you the more hurt you feel. What I believe the number of years also plays a main role. Take for example your maid who has been working with you for the past 10 years however the closeness on a scale from 1-10 is say 2 since you unknowingly do care about her sometimes.
Hence IOR= 10*2 = 20
Hence pain will be
= 20K
So lets define K now it is not equal to 0 also it should vary according to the persons age group since receding of pain depends on your incidents restoring power. Categorizing the age group we find that we can short list then to 6 groups.
0-5 : age of half consciousness. However even here K != 0 since a child trusts his
mother to take care of him. Hence the pain here is mostly physical. K=2
6-10 : In this case the trust factor goes down a little bit since here the kid tend to
take more risk and in most independent than ever. K=1,
11-18 : Adolosent age the most confusing age here you trust your friends more than
your parents hence you are more prone to pain. K=5
20-30 : Time for most of ours first serious relationship hence Pain needs to be high.
K=8
31-50 : Trust here is on your spouse, kids and job and most of them are stable now.
K=4
50-end : You trust you bank and deposits for returns.
K=3.
I guess I have covered most of the factor. Please help me out in refining this theory I am planning to name this equation on the person’s name who respond me the first.
In the end a food for thought
"What happens when some one who taught you how to trust breaks it?"

fool again

Baby, I know the story,
I've seen the picture,
it's written all over your face
Tell me, what's the secret that you've been hiding?
And who's gonna take my place?
I should have seen it coming,
I should have read the signs
Anyway, I guess it's over
Can't believe that I'm the fool again
I thought this love would never end,
how was I to know?
You never told me
Can't believe that I'm the fool again,
and I who thought you were my friend,
how was I to know?
You never told me
Baby, you should've called me,
when you were lonely,
when you needed me to be there
Sadly, you never gave me too many chances
to show you how much I care
Ooh, should have seen it coming,
I should have read the signs
Anyway, I guess it's over
About the pain and the tears
Ooh, If I could, I would, turn back the time
Ooh yeah I should have seen it coming
I should have read the signs
Anyway, I guess it's over

Maslow's hierarchy of needs

Hierarchy of human needs it is a theory in phychology made by abraham maslow - 1943 In Theory of Human Motivation. In his study he observed successesful people like albert einstein, Jane addams, Eleanor Roosevelt etc. He said that study of crippled and mentally ill people lead to a only crippled phychology and a crippled phychology. He said that people needs are divided into various categories starting from basic. Every individual tried to satisfy his basic needs and then onlu goes to the next level. He created a need hierarchy pyramid consisting of five levels the bottom four levels are grouped as "deficiency needs" and the top layer is the "growth needs". The deficiency needs need to be met where as this is not in case of growth need. These needs keep on changing a persons behaviour. A higher need can only be met only if the lower needs are met.
The classifications are
Self Actulisation : morality, creativity,spontaneity, problem solving, lack of prejudice, acceptance of facts.
Esteem : Self-esteem, confidence, achievment, respect of others, respect by others
Love/Belonging : Friendship, family, sexual intimacy
Safety : Security of body, of employment, of resources, of morality, of the family, of health of property
Physiological : breathing, food, water, sex, sleep homeostasis, excretion.
Negation of the theory
(One thing that I find alot is that esteem is above love and belonging. Does it mean that for all individual friendship, family and sexual intimacy is more than seld esteem, confidence and achievment. Then this need hierarchy does not hold true in the current scenario. Here people are so engrossed to make a mark in the society to be sucessful to gain respect by all that they forget about there family and friends . They dont get time for it. It s not just one or two in 10.It can be generalised for all. There might be just one or two in 10 whose nature satisfies this need hierarchy. For the corporate lot they dont need to worry about there physiological needs or safety needs. There main need is esteem and self actulisation this is even more important that love/belonging. )
D - needs (deficiency needs)
Physiological needs:
Homeostasis
need to breath need to drink water, need to regulate homeostasis, need to eat and need to dispose of bodily waste. If one of these needs are not fulfilled then this takes the highest priority and hence this becomes the main motive. Also sexual activity is also placed in this category.
Comments:
Accepted these needs are of atmost priority for any individual.These needs are required for surviving. In the prehistoric age wasnt food the only motive of life. There was nothing like materialiscitc pleasures. Secondly Sexual activity was also one of the basic need. remember adam and eve they were prohibited to savour the forbidden fruit. However they did. A flaw in the current scenario man has controlled his desire for sexual intercourse this need should be upgraded to the esteem need. Since for people it more than just need it is a status symbol it is a means to get an edge in social circle.
Safety Needs:
When physiological needs are met then the need for safety will emerge.
contd .....

Happy women’s day

When I was born you tried to kill me
While I was growing up
I always knew I was your favorite
You always kept me close to you
When my brothers went to play in the field
I so wanted to go to school and study
Instead you taught me how to cook
J Happy women’s day
When I turned twelve
You started preparing for my wedding
Then one day when I was returning home
It was late as I remember
I saw some of my brothers friends
They followed me for a while
I was scared I asked you for help
But you didn’t reply
I ran as fast as I could
But I was not a match for there strength
J Happy women’s day
You cursed me and told me to die
I wanted to go out and work
Instead you got me married
When I didn’t got you enough dowry
You tried to burn me alive
J Happy women’s day
When I was pregnant I remember
You wanted to have a boy
However I wanted to have a girl
I also remember you beating me
When I gave birth to a beautiful girl
You tried to kill her when she was born
J Happy women’s day
Let’s stop being hypocrite
Accept it and stop wishing us
Every year on 8th of march
Where as it is you who always try to kill us
I hope now you will think twice
Before saying
"happy women’s day"

i beleive

You might not consider me at par with your intelligence
However there are certain things I believe in
I believe that
No matter how dark the night is
The sun will rise the other day
I believe that
If you think you are all alone
Go in the light and stand
You will find a shadow always besides you
I believe that
Even though you feel rock bottom
An ice-cream will always make you feel better
Only just for a moment
I believe that
There is no better cure for sadness
Then having a good laugh with your friends
I believe that
Life is too short to waste on some one or something
Always take a moment to look around
You just might realize how much you have been missing out
I believe that
All beginnings are good
No matter how small they may be
Something is better than nothing
I believe innocence should never be stolen
I believe trust should never be broken
I believe life should never end
I believe hope should never be lost
I believe I does not exists without we

I stand alone GODSMACK

I've told you this once before
Can't control me
If you try to take me down
You're gonna break
I feel your every "nothing" that you're doing for me
I'm thinking you ought to make your own way
I stand alone
Inside
I stand alone
You're always hiding behind your so-called goddess
So what
You don't think that we can see your face
Been resurrected back before the final falling
And I'll never rest until I can make my own way
(I'm not afraid of fading)
I stand alone
Feeling your sting down inside me
I'm not dying for it
I stand alone
Everything that I believe is fading
I stand alone
Inside
I stand alone
And now it's my time
(Now it's my time)
It's my time to dream
(It's my time to dream)
Dream of the skies
(Dream of the skies)
Make me believe that this place isn't plagued by the poison in me
Help me decide if my fire will burn out before you can breathe
Breathe into me
I stand alone
Inside
I stand alone
Feeling your sting down inside me
I'm not dying for it
I stand alone
Everything that I believe is fading
I stand alone
Inside
I stand alone
Inside
I stand alone
Inside
I stand alone
Inside

After all what matters is life

I am trying to live a part of my childhood dream. A dream to become a scientist one day. When i was born we have something like a "janampatri". It is a document which tell what were the position of stars when you were born to be able to predict your future. So in my janampatri it was mentioned that i would become a scientist or a detective. But i am none. Neways past is past. During a discussion between myself and dhivya she asked me that now a days things are getting a lot stereo typed so why not do something innovative or creative. She had an idea to create a device to cancel out the interference caused while talking on cell phone (GSM). However when we tried to find out more about it then we realised such a device already exists in the market. Once during my final semester of engineering i designed a circuit to operate the entire home appliances on radio frequency. Will try to find out the circuit then will attach it here. However i sometimes wonder how would it had been if i would have put my interest into technical side i really like robotics and was good in that too.... but what made my mind to drift off. This will be a mystery. I became a part of the wild goose chase in college that was doing an MBA. Then TCS happened and i completely lost track of my interests. My idol in life are many and one of them is the great "E=MCsquare" einstine. So lets see where this new road takes me to . when did i let fate take the decision for me? But i guess this is for best since my decision making sucks.

Murphy's law on love

Lets see how good these laws holds true

• If there is something which can turn yourrelationship sour it WILL . . . !
• when you decide to finish a relationship, you end up fucked up, and the other person will most likely find someone else in no time. And if it's the other person who finishes the relationship, most likely they'll find someone else in no time, and you end up fucked up...
• Fear of Not falling in Love with another girl/guy is directly proportional to the intensity of the last relationship!!
• The fear of Losing some one you love is exponentially proportional to the time you have been together.
• Men -- Never find true love Coz they go blindWomen -- Never want true love Coz they can get boredMan who is not blind with a woman who still finds him interesting Made lot of compromises and would not want to talk about it

Interview question

Day before i had an interview some thing like a mock interview .. they asked me a question Which incident of your life changed your life alot ?
i will accept it bluntly i have never given this a serious thought. Now if i think about it i would say getting into TCS did change the direction of my life alot. There was a depression in the market companies were firing people ... none of my seniors were placed by that time. So when I sat for the interview we were pretty sure I wont be able to make to it. However i was selected. That day 26th june 2004 changed the course of my life. To be honest i was not ready to get into a corporate world. I still wanted to enjoy my college life. That innocence that careless attitude. Now i need to behave more responsibly be more cultured .. more sophisticated.... Oh how much i still miss my carefree attitude ..... I knew that i need to bid farewell to the child inside of me... i need to part with my dolls with my fairy tale world ...
This incident changed my attitude toward life and change my perception of people.
Hence i quote this one.

The mad man

"And I can fight only for something that I love, love only what i respect, and respect only what I alt least know"

Adolf Hitler

Born on 20th of april in a small town of Austria. No one new this day was about to change the histroy of this world. As a child he was never interested in academics what intrests him was painting arts.
"In a few days I myself knew that I should some day become an architect. To be sure, it was an incredibly hard road; for the studies I had neglected out of spite at the Realschule were sorely needed. One could not attend the Academy's architectural school without having attended the building school at the Technic, and the latter required a high-school degree. I had none of all this. The fulfillment of my artistic dream seemed physically impossible.''"(Mein Kampf, Chapter II, paragraph 5 & 6).
In his late teens he lost his father. So to earn his bread he started selling cheap paintings in vienna. It was during this period he found his passion in life "politics". He fought in the great war but was regected from the army labled as physically unfit ...

Godhara around me

Unlike any other weekend this weekend i decide to go for a movie. A movie about a boy parzan lost in this civilized world. I went to watch Parzania. It happened with me for the first time. Throughout the movie i was shivering there were no tears but i know....i was crying. I loved a line which i could relate to the most. "God gives us only that much troubles that he knows we can handle it". Neways it was not this that affected me. I remember that fateful day in December when ayodhya happened. Half day was declared at our school. There was no bus ready to go to my place i was in my 4th standard running from here to there. Not knowing what to do. Then a gentleman arrived and told me that "Beta don't cry i will drop you". I don't remember his face but i know he mean good. I came home papa was about to leave for school to get me. For almost a month there was curfew in bhopal. I could see worry in mama's eyes. We used to sleep with rods under our pillow. We had water filled in containers in case of fire. All the channels featured riots people killing on the name of religion. I saw a somewhat familiar neighbourhood on television i was my friends Ayesha's place. Everything was burned to ground i remember the camera went to her room and I saw her half burned doll with which we used to play. Luckily the family has escaped before this incident. After a week in the evening papa took me to the roof of our house. I could see Bhopal burning. Fumes coming out from every direction no matter where u face. I could imagine people crying. My mom could not sleep at night neither could papa. I can remember the military marching down the roads of our colony. After a while serenity was resumed. 4 years after this same thing happened not in Bhopal but in Ahmadabad. This was what the movie was about. While writing this i could feel the chills down my spine. "an eye for an eye can leave the entire world blind".
Mockery
We call ourselves civilized :
So ruthless killing of innocence is this civilized
Raping 6-7 years old of there childhood is this civilized
Dividing people on name of GOD is this civilized
Hats off to our corrupt politicians after all this they still have the guts to call us civilized.
I guess the old roman empire was more civilized than us atlest they were not a bunch of hypocrites to say that we are civilized.
so next time when u think about calling us as a civilized society think again

Simile

Agar yeh Jeena hai,

Toh marna kise kehte hai.

Agar yeh hasna hai,

Toh rona kise kehte hain.

Agar yeh dosti hai,

Toh dushmani kise kehte hai.

Agar hum insaan hai,

Toh janwar kise kehte hai.

Agar yeh mohabbat hai,

Toh bewafai kise kehte hain.

Agar yeh jeena hai,

Toh marna kise kehte hai.

Beach Boys

When I grow up to be a man
Will I dig the same things that turn me on as a kid?
Will I look back and say that I wish I hadn't done what I did?
Will I joke around and still dig those sounds
When I grow up to be a man?
Will I look for the same things in a woman that I dig in a girl?
(fourteen fifteen)
Will I settle down fast or will I first wanna travel the world?
(sixteen seventeen)
Now I'm young and free, but how will it be
When I grow up to be a man?
Oooooo Ooooooo Oooooooo
Will my kids be proud or think their old man is really a square?
(eighteen nineteen)
When they're out having fun yeah, will I still wanna have my share?
(twenty twenty-one)
Will I love my wife for the rest of my life
When I grow up to be a man?
What will I be when I grow up to be a man?
(twenty-two twenty-three)
Won't last forever
(twenty-four twenty-five)
It's kind of sad
(twenty-six twenty-seven)
Won't last forever
(twenty-eight twenty-nine)
It's kind of sad
(thirty thirty-one)
Won't last forever
(thirty-two...)

Goodbye cruel world

Yesterday i woke up with a smile on my face and today i woke up with a call . A call reminding me of my existence in the race for MBA. It was a call to make me realise that it ain't over yet your last hope will flap its wings today. This is my last life line before i get choked. I dared to be different and hence this is the price i need to pay. Yes Yes stifle me what are you waiting for. All the signs since morning are against me. My stars are on a strike for quite a while now. My patience is on test as to how long it takes before i go insane.
Let me rest my eyes for a while they are burning now from all the tears.
Let me be silenced now my throat is torn from all the screaming.
Let me sleep now my ears are tired from all the noises.
I guess i should stop listening to pink Floyd now... its getting to me. I really don't want to get back to the same state. It was impossible to get out of it .... i don't know if i could do it again.
Good bye cruel world my task here is done
i will rest now for some time before i begin my journey again

Special Economic Zones (SEZs)

Why is there so much hype about SEZ in the median recently? Well for once it a new experiment undertaken by the central government of India like the five year plans. SEZ was first introduced by People’s Republic of china with an aim to increase foreign investments. Many countries have plunged into this area but most of them have failed. Like many others India has also declared a total of 63 SEZs in India. Initially govt. proposed of having a total of 500 SEZ in India (Please don’t laugh they have skipped many). However only 220 of them the implementation process have started. SEZs experience flexibility in policies and laws allowing SEZs to utilize a special economic management system.
Special tax incentives for foreign investments in the SEZs.
Greater independence on international trade activities.
Economic characteristics are represented as "4 principles":
Constructions primarily relies on attracting and utilizing foreign capitals
Primary economic forms are Sino-foreign joint ventures and partnerships as well as wholly foreign-owned enterprises
Products are primarily export-oriented
Economic activities are primarily driven by market
You might have read about Singur (West Bengal) where TATA motors is starting up a plant to produce a 1Lakh car for Indian customer. Hence you might have also read about Mamta Banerjee and her hunger strike against this establishment. I sometimes wonder that these politicians will go up to any extent to be highlighted in the media. After looking at the pros and cons of the situation I couldn’t find any reason good enough to fight against it. Bengal as we are aware of tops the list of poor state in India. A revolution like this will not only develop Singur but will help in the over all development of the state. This step will not only generate employment but will also improve the standard of living of that region. The land that was taken from the farmers was not that much fertile that the govt. did a sin occupying it. The farmers are getting compensation and employment what more can they ask for.
Let’s talk about the other SEZ like Chennai, Santa Cruz (Mumbai) nothing substantial have been achieved there till yet in the past 5 years of their creation. However one should not criticize the govt. they are doing there best in helping this county to grow. They might be slow but they are doing something. I guess when comparing the growth in any other country it would have taken 7- 8 years for a SEZ to fully flourish but in India we will take may be 20- 25 years. But we will achieve it. We have a target a dream no matter how distant it is we will fulfill it.

Get well soon DD

One of my good friends met with an accident a week ago ... i was unaware of his situation i didnt call him up my mistake. I mailed him yesterday and got his reaply. He has a fracture in spinal cord he cannot get up and walk .. he is currently using crutches to walk... why god why do bad things happen to good people he too has seen enough he too has suffered enough .... Please be fair to him atlest. I really am worried he has no idea when will he be able to walk on his own.. On top of it all he aint in India he is there in UK no one to take care of him ... all alone .. i know how it feels there ... but he need more hep and support... i reuest all of you to please pray for him so that he gets well soon and will be able to run on his feet.

Amen

A salute to john lennon "give peace a chance"

Recently john lennon has really inspired me. I guess this world at this moment needs some on of his caliber of his imagination. "Imagine" if lennon was the president of the US of A. Then the song will go like this :
Imagine there's no Iran
It's easy if you try
No Osama below us
Above us only inflation
Imagine all the people
Living for power...
Imagine there's no countries(only US)
It isn't hard to do(couple of atom bombs)
Nothing to kill or die for (:))
And no religion too
Imagine all the people(americans)
Living life in peace...

Once lennon quoted "Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink.... I don't know what will go first, rock 'n' roll or Christianity. We're more popular than Jesus now. Jesus was all right, but his disciples were thick and ordinary. It's them twisting it that ruins it for me." there wasan era dedicated for lennon. Still you can find his names on t-shirts, mugs he is timeless. Only few have been born like his callibre. he dared to speak what he beleived in through his songs and preachings. How many times have we stoped ouselves from saying something just beacuse we thought person infornt of us might be offended.

His best creation was "GIVE PEACE A CHANCE" on vietnam war ... guess wht it was recorded in a hotel room. If you havent heard it then let me present you with the lyrics.

Two, one two three four
Ev'rybody's talking about
Bagism, Shagism, Dragism, Madism, Ragism, Tagism
This-ism, that-ism, is-m, is-m, is-m.
All we are saying is give peace a chance
All we are saying is give peace a chance
C'mon
Ev'rybody's talking about Ministers,Sinisters, Banisters and canisters
Bishops and Fishops and Rabbis and Pop eyes,And bye bye, bye byes.
All we are saying is give peace a chance
All we are saying is give peace a chance
etc.

I beleive I can fly

I used to think that I could not go on

And life was nothing but an awful song

But now I know the meaning of true love

I'm leaning on the everlasting arms

If I can see it.....Then I can do it

If I just believe it.....There's nothing to it

I believe I can fly.....I believe I can touch the sky

I think about it ev'ry night and day.....

Spread my wings and fly away

I believe I can soar.....See me running through that open door

I believe I can fly....I believe I can fly.....

I believe I can fly

See I was on the verge of breaking down

Sometimes silence can seem so awful loud

There are miracles in life I must achieve

But first I know it starts inside of me

If I can see it.....Then I can do it

If I just believe it.....There's nothing to it

I believe I can fly.....I believe I can touch the sky

I think about it ev'ry night and day.....

Spread my wings and fly away

I believe I can soar.....See me running through that open door

I believe I can fly....I believe I can fly.....

I believe I can flyIf I can see it.....Then I can do it

If I just believe it.....There's nothing to it

I believe I can fly.....I believe I can touch the sky

I think about it ev'ry night and day.....

Spread my wings and fly away

I believe I can soar.....See me running through that open door

I believe I can fly....I believe I can fly.....I believe I can fly

Waiting for the sun to rise for me

In the book walking with my shadows i started up a new chapter yesterday. After repeated failures in MBA entrance i realised that the sun has set on me. All i need to do is to wait for the sun to rise for me. Yesterday was my last MBA entrance paper for this financial year. I know i havent given FMS seriously i was almost sleeping. However i am really dissappointed with my self for not performing well in TISS. I really wanted to get into this institute. There is something about this college that is attracting me towards it. Then again i didnt perform well in it. I m waiting for the sun to rise for me. One of my good friends told me that an "exact destruction is better than a common dwelling". I was never born to be lost in this crowd. Somehow i did. Its like a quick sand the more i try to struggle to get out of it the more in go deeper. I will wait for the sun to rise for me. It will one day if not then i will make this darkness my companion and we will walk hands in hands till eternity.

Another year has passed and I am still waiting for the sun to rise for me.

How the Fuck does it matter

I smile , I cry
What the **** does it matter?
I live , I die
What the **** does it matter?
I m bleeding inside
The blood refuses to clot
What the **** does it matter?
The angels are falling from the sky
What the **** does it matter?
You gonna die one day
Now i can say
What the **** does it matter?
Hurts dosent it!!!

Face

I put up a face, just to show that I care
I put up a face, just to make you smile
I put up a face, just to hide my sorrows
I put up a face, just to mix into the crowd
I put up a face, Oh I put up a face

Noida Killings

21st century ….. We call ourselves civilized …… but still we have incidents like godhara and the latest Nodia killings. For all of you who are unaware of this issue let me brief you about it. On 30th of December in Nithari village of Noida skeletons 15 of children were discovered. The parents of these kids did file a report when the kids went missing but kidnapping was not major news in U.P. hence no action was taken by them. It was when they found these skeletons did they understood the gravity of this situation. They got hold of a person called Surender who confessed sexually assaulting and killing of 12 children. The main accused and his employer Mahendra have been brought to court and are being charged with murder, concealment and destruction of evidence and entering into a criminal conspiracy. After this can we call ourselves civilized society. This act was nothing less that total barbarism. They accused might be given a death sentence but will it a lesson for us will this put an end to such atrocities. NO plain simple NO. We all have an animal inside us some of us are able to tame it the other like Surender and Mahendra let it loose wild. If this is true then why do we claim to be a civilized society why don’t we except this that we are anything but civilized. Also when Naresh Gupta, the Adobe CEO whose son Anant was kidnapped, it was the head lines of all the daily newspaper. And the missing of all these 15 kids went unnoticed. It clearly stated that there is a price tag attached to each one of our lives. 10 children go missing and no one knows about it but if yuvraj singh has a fight at his birthday party then it’s a headline. So in a way some of us who think ourselves to be civilized are provoking these crimes. If accidentally if the police might not have discovered the skeletons then we might still be unaware of it and Surender would be continuing taking more innocent lives. Media who we solely trust on in providing us the complete information about the happening in this society is in turn ignoring them. On top of it all the chief minister of U.P. states that this Nodia incident is not a big deal. Sir God forbid but if a similar thing happens to your grand daughter will you still say it ain’t a big deal? I guess even a death sentence will be less for these @!#%$%#$% the punishment given to them should be an example to all so that no one dares to commit a crime like this. And please for god sake stop being hypocrite and stop calling us a civilized society.